If that poor guy moves again, I swear to God
by nodumbbitch
Summary: The night after Jaye and Eric's reconciliation in Caged Bird, those damn things start talking again.
1. That damn brain of mine

**If that poor guy moves again, I swear to God…**  
part one- _"That damn brain of mine"_

Jaye sat on her bed, twirling the ring in her hand. Eric had returned! It was about midnight, and for once, those damn animals weren't talking to her. She was alone in her happiness. She couldn't remember where the ring had come from, but its smooth, metallic ringness gave her this strange reminder of Eric's lips on hers, the reminder of the joy that Heidi was finally gone.

Heidi was gone for good.

Jaye had to say this over and over again. Heidi was gone for good! Saying this made her want to get up and dance, but she couldn't.

She couldn't move. She was floored, she was happy, she had Eric. The only guy she had ever loved. For once, she didn't mind that she lived in a trailer park only a few minutes away from her family – who it turned out she didn't hate all that much. She didn't mind that her best friend was dating her brother. She didn't mind that inanimate objects spoke to her on a regular basis.

A loud knock came on the door and it took her from her trance. Back to the genie-in-a-bottle trailer she lived in, that was lined with animal shaped toys, bookends, and everything else.

She swung open the door and Eric stood there, on the steps, breathing heavily. He was flushed as though he had run to her all the way from the Barrel. Jaye just stared at him, wide-eyed, and he caught her up in a passionate kiss. Jaye pulled him inside and shut the door behind him, running her fingers through his hair, toying with the short strands sitting on the nape of his neck.

He pulled away, holding his arms around her waist, smiling. "Hi."

"Hi," she said, amazed. She suddenly came to her senses and her usual cynical self and said, "You do realize its past midnight in a trailer park in Niagra Falls, right?"

"No, of course I hadn't realized that," he said, laughing, and kissed her again. "Now, tell me you didn't miss that."

Jaye smirked and replied, "I didn't miss that." Eric played pretend hurt across his face and kissed her again. "Okay, so I missed that greatly." He kissed her again.

"Good." Jaye looked up into his eyes, her arms still around his neck. They were so deep and blue and loving.

"So, why are you here?"

"Why am I here?"

"Yes. Here, at my trailer, after midnight."

"I missed you."

"Yes, but couldn't you have seen me in the daytime?"

"I couldn't wait that long."

"Good," Jaye said, kissing him longingly, deeply. He returned the kiss with passion and the same longing. "So, uhm… how _was_ New Jersey?"

"I already told you, I was just helping Heidi move in. The divorce got finalized, and I came back. I got my job at the Barrel returned to me, as well as my old temporary cot in the back room."

"Temporary?"

"I mentioned to my boss that I would actually try to find my own place this time around."

"Your own place?" Jaye asked slyly. Eric smirked and kissed her.

"And I had better get going," Eric said slowly. Jaye gave him the puppy dog look as he let go of her hand. "Its late, you're probably tired. I'll let you sleep." He said quietly as he pushed open the door.

Jaye caught him up in a deep, lovefilled kiss and looked up at him endearingly. "So, if you knew it was so late, why did you come?"

"I missed you," he said, smirking, as he backed down the steps and turned around to walk off into the night.

Unfortunately, he didn't see the chair where he was walking and toppled headfirst over it. "Okay, that hurt," he grunted. Jaye gasped and began to run over to him, but a voice behind her spoke up.

"Don't help him," it said. Jaye turned around slowly and stared at the stuffed chameleon. "Don't help him," it repeated. Jaye glared and sucked her cheeks in before turning back to Eric.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine. I'm fine. I'll just go…" he got up and wandered off, more carefully into the night. Jaye closed the door and spun around to glare angrily at the chameleon.

"He could've been seriously hurt," she snarled to the stuffed animal in the sink. It didn't reply. "You ruined my whole happy feeling. I was feeling happy. Why? Why did you have to talk?"

It didn't respond.

"Fine… fine. But, if you talk again, I swear, I will…"

"Don't help him," the chameleon repeated. Jaye's eyes bulged as she clenched her fists and stormed into her bedroom, shutting the retractable wall in a huff behind her.

Unfortunately, she was greeted by the monkey. "Don't help him," it said in its intelligent tone.

"Shut up," Jaye said angrily, and threw a pillow at him before flopping on her bed in a huff.

None of it made any sense to her. Why did they talk to her? She had had the chance to ask the monkey that, and he had simply replied, "Because you listen." What the hell kind of answer was that? "Because you listen!" Geez, she could've just asked a musician why they played music.

Jaye feel asleep in her temper and woke up to someone banging on her door. She looked at her clock. 8:00 in the morning.

Her brown hair was in tangles as she swung her door open to see her sister standing there, smoking a cigarette.

"What?" Jaye said impatiently.

"Good morning to you, too," Sharon said heartily after stomping out her cigarette. Jaye stepped back into her house and her sister stepped inside, looking particularly blonde. "I have a favour to ask."

"At eight o'clock in the morning?"

"Aren't you usually at work this time of day anyway?"

"It's my day off, so without you even asking, I'll say no." Jaye turned to her coffee machine and started to prepare the coffee.

"Aaron's sick and Mom and Dad are out of town, and I have to go to court, could you please check in on him now and again?"

"He's a grown man. He can take care of himself."

"Not when he's this sick."

"Did you ask Mahandra? I mean, she is his girlfriend and she doesn't start work for another ten hours."

"Why won't you help out your own brother?" Sharon whimpered and Jaye rolled her eyes. She turned to face her sister, but a voice sounded behind her.

"Don't help him," said the stuffed chameleon in the sink.

"Why do you have a chameleon in the sink?" Sharon asked.

"He needed a bath," Jaye said sarcastically while still staring at the talking toy.

"I swear, you're going crazy. Just… stop by to check in on him once, that's all I ask."

"Fine, but I won't like it," Jaye said, giving in to her sister's wishes.

"Don't help him," the chameleon repeated. Jaye hissed at him and her sister looked at her, confused.

"He's mocking me. With his eyes. Those damn glass eyes… always mocking… you."

"I swear to god, you are completely insane," Sharon mumbled under her breath as she opened the door and walked away. Jaye just looked at the chameleon with malice.

"Why won't you let me help my boyfriend… or who could potentially be my boyfriend? And… why won't you let me help my brother. I mean, I don't really want to help my brother, but… still. I thought you… whatever you are… I though you talked to me to make me help people and now you're telling me not to? That's just screwed up. Really," Jaye ranted to the unmoving chameleon in her sink as she prepared her coffee. "Maybe I should go to work."

"Don't help him," the chameleon said again and Jaye just glared.

* * *

THE END of part one


	2. A Scar on my Pinkie Toe

**If that poor guy moves again, I swear to God….  
**_part two- A Scar on My Pinkie Toe_

Jaye fingered the little white fluff between her fingers. She had gone the whole day just about to leave the trailer and go visit her brother when the chameleon would warn her not to. So, she got fed up. Now, there was white chameleon fluff all over her trailer. And she was going to check on her brother.

She pulled her jacket on and stepped out the door, making her way to her car. She remembered when this car was stolen by a crazy little boy who was in love with her and had intentions of killing Eric. She smiled at the memory and decided to go visit Eric before she went to check on Aaron.

Her car screeched a little as she pulled into the Barrel's parking lot, and she came to a quick halt, shaking the car. She got out of the car a little shakily, but quickly found her balance. It was all she could take to not kick it, but rather walked inside casually.

The chatter inside was welcome to her, as all she had heard all day was the voices of the muses. She sat down at the bar and put her chin in her hands.

"What are you doing here?" Mahandra asked her from behind.

"Its my day off."

"Exactly."

"I was bored…"

"Okay, I get it," she said, pulling herself onto the stool next to Jaye. "You're here to see Eric, aren't you?"

"No," Jaye said mock-defensively, "I'm just here because I have an overwhelming need to get drunk."

"At 4:00 in the afternoon? Who doesn't?"

"Well, then I'm hungry."

"You have food in your house."

"She doesn't even have a house, so it's quite impossible for her to have food there," said a voice behind the counter. Jaye smiled up at Eric, who returned the smile.

"You two make me ill," Mahandra said, getting up and going to a customer.

"How's your day off going?" Eric asked Jaye.

"It is going well. My brother's sick so I have to go check on him and make sure he isn't dead. I thought I'd stop by here first."

"Well, I'm glad I take priority over an almost dead brother."

"So am I."

"So do you have to go now?"

"Kind of. But, I did stop by, and nobody can say I didn't."

"Yes, but some can say you're overly eager."

"Look who's talking, Mr. Install-my-cable."

"Which I have never gotten to use, by the way."

"Well, I blame that on psycho-boy stalker, and psycho-girl ex-wife."

"Fair enough," Eric leaned over the counter and gave her a quick kiss. "We should do something tonight. Like, an official reconciliation dinner or something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. A reconciliation dinner or something?"

"You said that."

"Yes, but that's all I've come up with so far."

'Then call me and we shall discuss it, but now, I have to go save my brother's life." Jaye gave Eric a kiss and pulled away, rushing out the door. However, Jaye being clumsy as she is, she didn't see the young redhead walking into the restaurant, who Jaye immediately ran straight into. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

"Like hell you weren't! Watch where you're going you little -"

"Hey, hey, is there a problem here?" Mahandra said as she ran over.

"This woman walked straight into me. I swear, some people don't have the decency…" she tossed her hair and walked straight out the front door, leaving Jaye standing there, eyebrows raised, completely confused. She looked down at the ground and saw that the woman had dropped something. This particular something was shiny and about the size of a quarter.

"Hey, lady, you dropped something!" Jaye shouted after her, but her car was already pulling out the parking lot. Jaye stuffed the object into her pocket and got into her car.

When she pulled into the driveway of her parent's house, she pulled the object out of her pocket and looked at it again. It looked like a talisman of some sort, but she wasn't entirely sure. Perhaps Aaron would know. She got out and rang the doorbell. There was no answer. She rang the doorbell again. Still no answer. She sighed and tried opening it. It was locked shut. She pounded on the wood, and shouted, "Hey, Aaron, are you in there?" She looked around the doorway, trying to find a hidden key. "Ahha! Try to keep me out, will you? I think not." She put the key (which had been under a stone turtle) into the lock and turned.

"Don't help him," said a small voice below her. She looked down.

"Great."

"Don't help him," said the turtle.

"Since when did my parents have a stone turtle next to their door?" Jaye thought aloud, and pushed the door open. The house was dark. "Aaron, are you here?" She wandered through the house, and walked to his room. "Hello?" She heard a groan inside, and pushed the door open. It creaked.

Aaron's room was pitch black, except for the flashing red lights on his alarm clock. Jaye flipped the light switch and saw Aaron laying on the ground. "Omigawd, Aaron? Are you all right?" He nodded slightly as she began to pull him up. "Are you sure?" He nodded again. "Okay." She dropped him. "So, since you're alright, I think I'll just leave. Yeah. Have a fun day."

"Jaye…"

"Yeah?"

"Could you pass me that book over there?" Aaron said weakly, pointing wearily to the book on the bedside table. Jaye walked over and looked at the book.

"Don't help him," came a voice from outside. Jaye looked wide-eyed at the pink flamingo in the window. She began to pick up the book on the table. "Don't."

"I don't see how picking up a book and giving it my brother is helping him," she hissed.

"What?" asked Aaron from the other side of the bed.

"Nothing. Just, go back to your… whatever you're doing."

"Okay." Jaye turned back to the window, but the flamingo was gone. "How did you get on the floor anyway?" she asked as she turned back to Aaron, leaving the book on the table.

"I don't know. I've been here for hours."

"That sucks. Well, uhm, I couldn't find your book, so I'm just going to, you know, leave. Bye now." She backed out of the door and closed it shut tight so that she couldn't hear anymore from her brother. She let out a heavy sigh and went back to her car. "This is insane," she said under her breath.

* * *

THE END of part two 


	3. Lost in Spaciousness

**If that poor guy moves again, I swear to God…**  
part three – _Lost in Spaciousness_

Jaye sat at the bar, staring at her drink. It must've been far too early for alcohol, but she was having a bad day, and personally, she didn't care. "Hit me," she said, rather lackluster, slapping her empty glass down on the bar. Eric raised an eyebrow and took her glass.

"No more. You're practically drunk. Its five o'clock and your already drunk."

"Do I look like I care? Now hit me."

"Look, I'll hit you, but I'm not giving you any more to drink," he said, turning back to another customer.

"Oh, c'mon," Jaye said, slurring. "It's not like it's going to kill me."

"Actually, massive alcohol consumption can kill a person. And I don't want you dead just yet. We got back together, what, two days ago? Don't think I'm ready for you to be six feet under.

"Fine. But I have nothing else to do. It's my day off work, I can't go back to my trailer, and my brother's sick and I don't want to help him. Well, I don't care about helping him really, but the flamingoes don't."

"The flamingoes… don't… what…?"

"Want me to help my brother. Aren't you listening to a thing I'm saying? Gosh." Eric just gave Jaye a look. "What?"

"You've had way too much to drink. Get up," he said decisively. Now it was Jaye's turn to give Eric a look. Completely confused, she turned around and stood up. Eric walked over to her, placing a hand around her hip, and dragged her off to the room behind the bar. She slumped over onto the bed.

"Okay, maybe I'm a little bit drunk." He started to take off her shoes and put her feet up on the bed. "What are you doing?"

"You are going to rest. It seems like even when you don't have to do anything, you get stressed. So, you just need a little rest. I'll be back in maybe fifteen minutes, alright?"

"Pfft. I am a-okay," Jaye said, sloppily throwing up an "okay" sign with her hands. Eric kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room, looking back every couple of steps. As soon as he was out of the room, Jaye closed her eyes and sighed.

_Tick-tock, tick-tock, round-the-clock-tick-tock._

Jaye awoke with a start. The restaurant was silent. Light was still coming from it, but it was completely silent. Her head ached. She remembered something about Eric coming to check on her in fifteen minutes. How long had she been there? Less than fifteen minutes? But it was loud when she had fallen asleep, and there was no way that the Barrel had become dead silent in less than fifteen minutes. So it must've been longer. She sat up and looked around. An alarm clock right by the cot was flashing.

"12.53? What?" She sat up slowly and looked around. Her shoes were tucked under the cot. She smiled and said aloud, "Just like Eric." Again, she looked around the room. There was one voice coming from somewhere. Someone was singing this incredibly tedious tune. _"_Tick-tock, tick-tock, round-the-clock-tick-tock," over and over and over again. It faded in and out constantly, and Jaye had no idea where it was coming from or who was singing it. "Is anyone here?"

"Tick-tock, tick-tock, round-the-clock-tick-tock." The sound of Jaye's voice made the singing louder and steadier. She stood up and shook the dizziness out of her head. "Hello?" she called again. "Who is doing all that singing? It's really annoying." She turned the corner to the bar and saw that it was completely empty. "Alright, this is impossible. Where is everybody?" She looked around. It was completely empty, except for one of those toy monkeys, the kind that had the little cymbals and clanged them. Except this one had something between its cymbals – a little clock. "Tick-tock, tick-tock, round-the-clock-tick-tock," it sang. Before, the song had sounded cheerful, but now seemed gloomy.

"What are you doing?" Jaye hissed at the little monkey in the middle of the floor. It stopped trying to bang its cymbals together and cocked its head at her.

"Mouse," was all it said before resuming the song.

"What?" Jaye laid down on her stomach and propped her head in her hands, looking at the monkey who was still singing its stupid song. Jaye pulled the little clock out from between the monkey's cymbals. It stopped moving and singing. "What did you say before?" Jaye asked it.

"Mouse," it said, and then it seemed to stop being alive. Suddenly, something squeaked behind Jaye and she jumped up, screaming. A little tiny mouse with a note attached to its back started running around between Jaye's legs. The mouse looked up and started sniffing the air near Jaye.

"Alright… this isn't creepy in any way, shape, or form," she said to herself. She bent down to take the note off the mouse's back. It scampered away frantically, and Jaye stood there frozen on the spot. She had just been given a note from a mouse after listening to a cymbal-clanging monkey sing a song about clocks. Granted, this was not the weirdest day ever, but she was beginning to feel like Alice in Wonderland. However, she had a choice. She could either open the note or do absolutely nothing. Years of apathy told her not to do anything, but curiosity was biting at her.

The note was on a napkin that was very crinkled up. The writing had pierced through the paper many times, and the writing was messy. It said the following.

Trained mouse. Men taken us. Please help. Don't know where we're going. They have blindfolds.

The note made very little sense to Jaye. Somebody just happened to have a trained mouse in their pocket and somebody just happened to be able to tie a note around the mouse's body with a bit of string without kidnappers noticing? And how long ago had this been? How had she not woken up? Most importantly, did they take Eric? Jaye started pacing. How did they not know that she was there? It was all so confusing to her. She didn't know what to do.

She looked over at the fish on the wall and then down at the monkey on the floor. "Now would be a great time for some help, or guidance, or something. Gawd, when I need you the most is the only time you ever shut up." She sent another glare down at the monkey and then sighed, wondering what to do.

What about the police? Didn't they get some kind of notice about this? The police! Jaye ran to the phone and dialed 911 before realizing that the men who had kidnapped everyone in the restaurant had disabled it somehow. "What is going on?" Jaye thought to herself. How is it possible that something like this could happen? And why was it happening? She ran to the back room to get her coat, and on her way out, she picked up the little mouse and the monkey and put them in her pockets.

* * *

This took me a few weeks to write, and I wrote it during my free periods at school. 


End file.
